


let your line shine through

by virusq



Category: Final Fantasy IV
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 11:41:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8889415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/virusq/pseuds/virusq
Summary: We are all more powerful behind our masks but what do we become without them?





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jaclynhyde](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaclynhyde/gifts).



Kain takes a knee for his introduction to Golbez. The gesture is intended to be one of honor and respect but, before the imposing figure, the line between reverence and submission is not so easily distinguished. 

Golbez is terrifying and ominous: towering in blue-black plates and radiant in arcane energies, he’s a creature from childhood nightmares. The armor devours the light around it, much like the plumage of the dark knight and dragoon. How intimidating they must look riding into battle, the heralds of desolation. 

Unconsciously, Kain tightens the grip on his spear and resolves to never surrender to the darkness the hulking figure embodies.

…

Golbez slips through towns more easily in common garb, his silver hair tucked under a simple scarf. He scouts out Baron this way, observing cities and people through eyes that aren’t quite his own. Today he tests the mettle of the troops: soon to be his when the dark knight is removed from the picture.

One man reigns undefeated in the afternoon’s sparring matches. The blonde man is tall and striking, corded with lean muscle. Golbez watches him for a bit, his every move precise and calculated like a dancer. He’s light on his feet and quicker with his spear; it brings an unfamiliar smile to his lips.

Golbez steps out from the shadows and challenges Kain. They spar for a bit, Golbez dodging everything his challenger throws at him with an open palm and wider step. His eldritch speed keeps him just out of reach and the lancer grins at him, almost friendly in his determination to maintain his title. Golbez taunts him, cracking him across the cheek with the back of his hand, and the glare he receives back is almost playful in its ferocity. The joy of the moment is sapped from him the instant the voice in the back of his head pipes up: _yes, this one will do nicely._

Distracted, Kain’s spear jabs him in the chest and knocks the wind from him. He collapses to the ground, inhaling a mouthful of dirt, and cries out against the madness of it all. The raucous cheering of the gathered troops drowns out his guttural protestations and Kain offers him a generous hand up. He accepts it and, as the man lifts him to his feet, he can almost feel the warmth of the gesture piercing the cold veil in his mind.

Kain smiles at him and the cheer sends icy daggers into Golbez’s heart. He knows what must come next; what horrors will be inflicted by his hands. A predatory smile steals his face, his body autonomous from his decisions, hijacked by an entity parading around in his skin.

Golbez wishes the man will end him, that he’ll see the creature lurking behind his eyes and exorcise him from the face of the earth. But that does not happen, those are not his thoughts, and he’s terribly thirsty after his bout.

They share a drink. And then another. And another.

The darkness consumes him.

…

Kain hates the man in blue-black plates and all the wretched things he stands for. Mostly, he hates himself for being so compliant, so morally pliable, so willing to be controlled. He carries out his orders without protest, all the while praying he’ll still recognize himself when the fog is lifted.

Cecil’s different when they meet again, staring each other down miles above Baron. The trappings of a dark knight are gone; before him stands the boy he knew from childhood. A weight has been lifted from Cecil’s shoulders but the pressure is doubled on Kain. He feels split, hosting multiple opinions and desires in one mind, and loses himself to his orders.

He does not want to threaten Cecil. He does not want to hurt Rosa. He does not want to parade around the skies, a puppet to the man in blue-black plates. He wants to find that inner peace that Cecil found on Mysidia. He wants to find redemption for the crimes he has committed. He wants to find himself.

He’ll shed the mask if it’s the last thing he does.

…

A moment of recognition sparks sympathy in Golbez. He releases Kain, against the will of his master. Kain runs from him, the only hesitation in his step a certain fear common in trapped animals. He runs, taking his chances against the possible trap and abandoning Golbez to the fate he’s constructed. Golbez smiles, pleased that Kain’s survival instinct remains unmolested by himself or Zeromus.

A familiar wave of anguish knocks the wind out of him, his master punishing him for striking out, but this time he prides himself in it. In the midst of the pain wracking his body, Golbez knows that Zeromus’s grasp is weakening. He’s finding his own legs again. He’ll find a future.

He’ll shed this wretched identity if it’s the last thing he does.

…

After Zeromus is defeated, the weight is lifted. Golbez knows he owes his freedom to Cecil and Kain but he also owes them for his sins. He cannot bring himself to face them until he’s made peace with himself. He remains on the moon after they return to the earth, a self-inflicted exile for his transgressions.

Golbez buries the helmet and immolates the blue-black plates of his past in eldritch fire. After weeks of meditation, he forces himself to meet his own gaze in the mirror. The lines on his face are the same he’s studied for decades but somehow different in all the right ways. His gaunt cheeks have filled in with healthy color, his dark eyes have warmed to a piercing violet. His gaze isn’t the smoldering hatred of a dictator’s puppet, it’s the warm glow of Cecil’s forgiveness. His muscles aren’t strained from supernatural interference, they’re smooth and developed from months of dedicated training.

He takes a measured, centering breath and exhales slowly. 

It’s time.

…

Kain ventures to Mysidia to follow in Cecil’s path of literal enlightenment. He spends weeks on Mount Ordeals, patiently seeking any inner peace he can muster. The image of Cecil standing on the bridge, wind whipping through his silver hair, light as a feather in his newfound destiny, spurs him on. 

When he faces his trials on the summit, it takes every ounce of courage within him to submit to the unknown once more. This time, the dark presence threatening his existence is his own reflection. After hours of struggle, he realizes he cannot win. He cannot strike the red from his ledger with a magic ritual. He must lay down his weapon and stand trial for his crimes. It’s then that the struggle ceases within him and understanding dawns on him.

He returns to Mysidia a new man, with a new soul. Abandoned is his pride as a Highwind Dragoon and birthed is his purpose in the Order of the Holy Dragoon. His steps brim with holy light.

When he retires for the evening, he sees a familiar face in the tavern. Briefly, he mistakes the silver haired man as a well-aged version of Cecil, but he catches himself before speaking. Taking a seat across from the familiar face, he realizes it’s the man from his sparring match so long ago. The man favors him with a familiar smile, the lines on his face are somehow softer, _repaired_.

“It’s been awhile, Theodor.” Kain buys two drinks and sets one before the man.

Theodor’s smile widens, his eyes closing briefly to savor something Kain can’t quite comprehend. He beams at Kain. “And you look like a new man.”

“I feel like a new man,” Kain insists.

“Good,” Golbez states honestly, exhausted beneath the cheer. “You deserve it.”

There’s a jealous glint behind Golbez’s eyes and Kain dismisses it with a swig of ale. “What are you doing in Mysidia?”

“I’m on business.” Golbez sobers a bit. “Repairing some bridges I’ve burned in my youth.”

“A carpenter, then.” Kain winks at him. “I too have just finished burying a hatchet on Mount Ordeals.”

Golbez nods. “The light suits you.”

There’s something in the man that Kain finally recognizes, a barely perceivable crackle of arcane energy that flashes in eyes. The man is more familiar to him than a simple sparring partner; an unmistakable darkness has left him scarred and broken, a darkness that Kain would have only recognized after his descent from Mount Ordeals. In an instant of pained recognition, Kain knows exactly who Theodor is and what Golbez has done. He knows exactly what bridges the carpenter is attempting to bridge. The void in his soul calls out to his light and the revelation startles him.

Color drains from Theodor as he starts to rise, quietly apologizing. He excuses himself and Kain grabs his hand before he can leave. The gesture shocks them both.

Kain searches his tormentor’s face, desperate for any reason to lash out but finds his well of hatred brimming with pity. “I know who you are and I,” his mouth moves for a tense moment before the words express themselves, “I forgive you.”

Golbez flinches. “You have no reason to.”

“Your actions were not your own. You were a victim of the darkness, as was I.” Kain inclines his head to the vacant seat and leans in closer when Golbez reluctantly returns to it. “I came here to see reparation for my sins and I believe you’re here for the same reason.” 

Golbez sighs. “I should go.”

“I believe we have much to discuss. The light … Given time, we can mend the scars.” Kain lifts his hand and taps the soft fabric across Golbez’s chest. “Theodor, stay with me a while.”

Silently, Golbez relents.

…

Golbez is on his knees for his surrender to Kain. The gesture is intended to be one of reverence and submission but in the glow of Kain’s newfound light, it signifies respect.

Kain is gentle and comforting, kneeling at the hearth of their rented quarters to meet his gaze. His blue-white robes boast of a grace in movement and lack of shame, he’s a figment from childhood sermons. He radiates youthful honesty, much like Cecil. How inspiring they must look, returning from battle, the heralds of redemption. 

Unconsciously, Golbez loosens his grip and allows his emotional armor to slide. He resolves to learn to trust again, surrendering to the future the blond man embodies.

He can hear Kain’s smile through the words. “The light suits you.”


End file.
